Breaking Bread, Nourishing Connections
People with and without Disabilities Together at Mealtime
Karin Melberg Schwier and Erin Schwier Stewart
Brookes Publishing, 2005
ISBN # 1-55766-720-9

Ask the next person you meet to tell you about a favorite memory and there’s a good chance it will have food in it. Gathering together to share a meal is one of the hallmarks of our humanity.  Though different cultures have different customs, we all like to eat together.

And yet, for most of known history, we have not invited people with disabilities to dine with us, we have not asked them what like to eat, we have not held expectations for them to learn how to cook. This is especially true for the most severely disabled among us- those who need assistance to eat.

Though it is changing, in many (at one time all) institutions housing people with severe disabilities shoved pureed food down resident’s throats. Superiors rewarded getting a meal down in less than 5 minutes. The person being fed had no control over the experience. It says volumes that only now is a book about how to create inclusive mealtimes (which means both preparing meals and eating them) being published. But boy, is this book welcome, needed and fabulously written.

The two authors, a stepmother and her daughter, are passionate about their subject. It is both personal (Erin’s brother has an intellectual disability) and professional - Erin is an OT and a senior policy fellow for the Center for Disability Issues and the Health Professions and Karin wrote two other books on disabilities. They, along with their numerous contributors, present many poignant stories- some heartwarming, some heartbreaking. One of my favorites is the story of Diana and Joan. Diana, a very busy woman, started having lunch with Joan, a woman who needed full-time care. Their lunch became an elaborate ritual. Diana would lovingly pack a delicious lunch along with her best china, crystal and silver and bring it to Joan's house where they would leisurely savor it together. “This is really for me,” admitted Diana. Joan’s gift allows me to close the window on my otherwise crazy week.” It’s a beautiful example of how nourishment can be sacrament.

Feeding someone is not the same as dining with them. The authors write,” Dining suggests something more transcendent and, without making it too grandiose, maybe even something more spiritual.”

For people with little control over their bodies, sharing mealtimes, rather than being fed, as small as the gesture seems, is “infinitely more than nothing.” It opens up their abilities and makes even more possible. This book offers wonderful examples as well as tips for helping someone eat, suggestions for positioning, useful gadgets, safety tidbits and a selection of good ideas. In addition, they provide a few basic recipes, some with picture instructions.

The authors offer an illuminating exercise where one person feeds another a lollipop. First the person being fed has no hand control, and then, they try again with two fingers. It makes all the difference. 

Gathering together to prepare and eat meals is a welcoming way to include everyone. This remarkable new title handles the concept, reality and inspiration with grace and dignity, showing how wonderful it is for everyone to sit together at the kitchen table.