Mother Nurture: A Mother’s Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Jan Hanson, L.Ac., and Ricki Pollycove, M.D.
Penguin Books, 2002
ISBN 0-14-200062-0

A good friend of mine, mother to two teenage daughters, was recently treated for depression and exhaustion. Her acupuncturist chided for taking so long to take care of herself, “Tell me again, how long you’ve been a mother," he said, ”and how long you’ve been tired and stressed?"

Point taken. The good news is she got help, rest, and is learning to take care of herself. The bad news she’s not alone, not by a long shot. According to the Hanson’s, authors of Mother Nurture, there’s a 50% chance that a mother will experience a period of depression during her child-rearing years. They say that mothers of young kids only sleep an average of 6 ½ hours a night and that half of all mothers return to work before their child’s first birthday. And we wonder why we feel so stressed out?

Unfortunately, the Hanson’s treat women like my friend regularly in their roles as therapists, acupuncturists and nutritionists. Along with medical doctor Pollycove, they have written a book that every mother should read. They have given a voice, a diagnosis, and hope for mothers who are too tired, too busy, and too committed to take care of themselves.

They state that motherhood raises the risk for many things including diabetes, nutritional problems, gall bladder problems, cardiovascular disease, kidney disease, hormonal problems along with our old friend fatigue and its host of complications. That’s just the medical list. There’s also all the symptoms that arise out of depletion such as depression, loss of libido, sleep problems and relationship issues, all of which can and does affect our ability to mother.

Mothers, great martyrs’ we can be, usually suffer in silence. They think that being tired, stressed-out, sick and tired are just part of mothering. The Hansons say no, it’s Depleted Mother Syndrome and it is curable. How? They tell you, chapter-by-chapter, how to transform yourself and step back on the path of well-being.

Depleted Mother Syndrome (DMS) is defined as “a biopscholsocial condition in which the combination of a mother’s outpouring, stresses, vulnerabilities, and (low) resources drain and dysregulate her body.” They can prove it through laboratory tests on nutrient levels, hormone levels and medical conditions arising from chronic depletion.

After providing definitions and examples, they tackle stress, wellness, physical health, and nurturing intimate relationships. They provide concrete tools, such as cultivating positive experiences, one minute at a time. They offer real-life examples and give specific ways to approach problems. It’s laid out so that readers can flip-open the book anywhere and get support and suggestions. The book is easy to read, extremely accessible and never patronizing. It’s the most significant book for women I’ve seen in a long time.

By approaching motherhood nutritionally and medically, the authors have legitimized the complaints of mothers everywhere. Depleted Mother Syndrome follows in the footsteps of other previously unrecognized problems such as Premenstrual Syndrome or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. They no longer become women complaints or some kind of weakness, but a medically definable issue.

Though we’ll never know if my friend’s DMS could have been prevented, perhaps if she’d read this book when she was a new mother, her quality of life may have been much different. Women everywhere can benefit from reading this book, it’s more than just a wealth of information; it’s a new perspective that gives mothers the right to nurture themselves.

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Copyright © 2005 Anna Stewart. All rights reserved worldwide.