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James
Venis
Wholistic Parenting
Do I smile enough?
That seems an odd question for parents to ask themselves, but it is one of
many such probing questions that Dr. Caron Goode, author of Nurture Your
Child’s Gift, suggests parents ask themselves when evaluating their skills
as wholistic parents. Here are some others:
--Does my child have adequate time and space for play or relaxation?
--Do I spend at least 15 minutes each day with my child that are
unambiguously hers?
--Do I give my child appreciative feedback for the positive contributions
he makes to the household or family?
--In 90% of my conversations with my child, do I: nag, scold, support,
affirm, structure, complain, build up, put down?
--Do I ask my child questions that cause her to think through options,
consider consequences, develop compassion?
--Do I help my child feel grateful for life experiences?
--Does my child take quiet time to pray, meditate or listen inwardly?
--According to Dr. Goode, wholistic parenting means caring for children's
bodies, emotions, minds and spirits—the interrelated elements of the whole
self. "Daniel Goleman made this point in his book Emotional Intelligence,"
says Dr. Goode. "Positive emotions equate with good health while negative,
traumatic or unexpressed emotions correlate highly with mental illness and
poor health. So caring for our children’s emotions or feelings mustn't be
overlooked. It is critical for their health and success in life."
Parents care for their children’s physical needs almost as a matter of
course. Parents look after food, shelter, clothing and safety. Most also
teach their children how to maintain good health and vitality. Caring for
their minds, says Dr. Goode, means helping children develop mental skills
such as attending, focusing, asking, thinking through options, deducing
and analyzing. These skills serve children all through life.
Dr. Goode, Ed.D. teaches seminars in leadership skills and
self-empowerment through the International Breath Institute, which she
co-founded with Dr. Tom Goode, and is a respected researcher in the field
of mindbody science.
"Now that mindbody science has had the opportunity to study degenerative
mental problems in the aging population," says Dr. Goode, "we have learned
that reading, communicating, working crossword puzzles, and other mental
exercises keep the mind sharp and agile."
Caring for the physical, a mental and emotional aspect of children is
challenging enough. But how does one care for a child’s spirit? Dr. Goode
defines spirit as "the inner fire, passion or sense of self that a child
portrays." When children are connected to their sense of inner self, she
says, it becomes the intrinsic motivation for their productivity and
relationships. Children connected to their inner spirits are curious and
exploratory, motivate themselves, and have minds of their own. Though such
children may need to be given boundaries and structures, says Goode, they
may resist restrictions until you help them understand why such boundaries
are needed.
"Our job is to nurture our children so that they feel good about
themselves," says Dr. Goode. "We can make this happen in our homes by
conscious effort. As parents, we are the agents of change for society, and
parenting decisions we make now will affect subsequent generations."
For parents serious about developing and acting on their whole parenting
skills, Dr. Goode created the "Parenting Pledge." Why would such a pledge
be necessary? "Of course I assume that all parents want to do their level
best by their children," she says. "But stating that commitment aloud and
signing the pledge makes it real. The pledge helps parents remember to
find positive and inspiring attitudes and to approach parenting from that
place."
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About The Author ...
Copyright © 2001 James Venis |
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