A worried mom emailed me, "How do I get my 5-year-old to stop sucking her thumb?" Through the convenience of computers I immediately replied, "Not an easy answer."

Prenatal sonograms show that a fetus will suck her thumb. Infants use their thumb as a healthy self-comforting pattern and babies who make use of their thumb are easier to live with. Two-thirds of toddlers use a pacifier or fingers. Even a preschooler who is upset or bored may use the conveniently available digit as a way of soothing herself.

By age five between 85-99% of kids stop thumb sucking on their own. But why would this behavior persist beyond the fifth year? There are many reasons older children engage in occasional thumb sucking.

This mom's solution hinged on her answers to my questions. First, was the "family enduring sudden or chronic stress?" Children are keenly perceptive and pick up on the stress in their environment. A sudden start or an increase in thumb sucking may simply be her young daughter's response to an awareness of anxiety.

Children are emotionally immature and will try to make sense out of their world the best of their ability with behaviors including thumb sucking, regression to infantile behavior, sleep disturbances, or increased tantrums. If Mom felt that stress was behind her little girl's behavior; I suggested she try to identify and reduce the tension. Then she'd see a reduction in the thumb sucking.

Second, was her daughter's behavior "only at nap and bedtimes?" I explained that her child was using an appropriate, and temporary, way to relax. We all practice little bedtime rituals or positions to help us go to sleep. Often little ones who fall asleep more easily are the ones who suck their thumbs. If the behavior was limited to these times, I advised Mom to "ease off!"

Third, I asked if she was worried that her daughter's "teeth would be ruined and she'd need braces?" I reassured Mom that the occasional thumb-in-the-mouth does not deform upper teeth. More often genetics or a tongue thrust causes dental problems. Of course it's always wise to talk with a pediatric dentist. Some of the problems caused by nonstop thumb sucking include:

Improper tooth placement

Jaw abnormalities

Speech deformities
 

According to the American Dental Association (ADA), thumb sucking doesn't cause permanent problems with the teeth or jaw unless it's a continuous behavior beyond 5-years.

Finally, I quizzed, "Does it drive you crazy?" If so, her child knows! This is often the main culprit behind an older child's behavior. Many well-meaning parents forcibly take the thumb out of their child's mouth or they'll nag and coax their child to stop. But this reinforces the behavior. Why? Kids love attention and will repeat the behavior that gets attention. Even if parents silently think thumbs (or pacifiers) are dirty, wrong, or disgusting they eventually send this message to their child.

It may be alarming for a parent to see her preschooler curled up on the furniture with a hand protruding from the mouth. The fact is one in five 6-year-olds still occasionally suck their thumb. But, attempting to interfere with it usually causes children as old as 8-years-old to persist. Ignoring the occasional thumb sucking is the best remedy.

Sometimes parents drive this behavior underground with, "I better not catch you sucking your thumb!" Then their child simply sneaks off and hides to do it. The pediatrician Dr. T. Berry Brazelton urges parents to examine their own feelings about thumb sucking. He maintains the world is a stressful place for small children. Thumb sucking, Brazelton says, is a "very healthy sign of competence" in self-comforting. I love his casual attitude that very few kids go off to college sucking their thumbs. Although I read recently that among adults, 1% confess they occasionally do it. Maybe they're the underground bunch.

In parenting there are few predicaments that have an easy solution. Examine what's going on in your home and try to employ various corrective measures. Wise parents expect childrearing challenges, read to educate themselves, and plan appropriate and multiple strategies beforehand.

Copyright © 2003 Brenda Nixon. All rights reserved worldwide.