After a remarkable four-week journey to India this past winter, I returned home to Michigan, where I was greeted with shrieks of delight from my 6- and 3-year-old granddaughters. Their older, 8-year-old sister, was also happy to see me but much more restrained in expressing her emotions.

Driving home that evening, I remembered how, just a few short years ago, my oldest granddaughter would have expressed her joy in decibels which could damage the human ear. What had happened in two short years? What messages had she received from her parents, from her teachers, from her peers that restraint and not glee was more appropriate … that she was now, at the age of 8 years, too old to be childlike?

Children are born with an innocence, a spontaneity, a purity of heart and mind, that is a natural part of who they are. Somewhere during second grade, or about a child's seventh year, this innocence begins to dissipate. It is replaced with expectations to be the best, to achieve, to be competitive, to excel. Life becomes serious, free time gives way to programmed time, play gives way to taking lessons, and soon we have a little adult in a child's body, who broods and worries that they are not measuring up, that they are perhaps 'not good enough!'

I know deep in my heart that my 8-year-old granddaughter has learned to restrain herself, because somewhere she has learned she is 'too old to shriek with delight, too old to sit on Gram's lap, too old to act silly.' And deep in my heart, I know her parents love her, the teachers care about her and her friends are going through similar passages.

There are fifty years between my oldest granddaughter and myself. As her grandmother, I am dedicated to making sure she will not have to spend the next 50 years of her life reclaiming the freedom of her spirit. If children's spirit is nurtured and attended to in the same way we encourage them to learn, think and do, our children will have a far better chance to be secure within themselves, and to find joy in who they are. So starting right now, let's hug our kids, let's have fun with them, let's be silly with them and let's find joy in their unique spirit!

And while you're doing that, if you're ever driving down the road, and you see a silver haired grandmother and a blond haired 8-year-old granddaughter, with the windows rolled down, hair blowing in the wind, voices joined in 'made-up' songs, know that we are chasing the moon and shrieking with delight!

Copyright © Elaine Williams, 2001