“Parenting is like having a bowling alley in your head,” quipped comedian Martin Mull. You can relate if you’re the parent of an active youngster.

These childrearing years are packed with chaos, loud voices, sassy talk, and oodles of activity! It’s hard to corral a kid long enough to teach him anything, especially responsibility. But the earlier you begin, the better.

Did you know responsible children are more pleasant to be around, successful in school, and mature to be productive, responsible adults? Teaching responsibility will take repeated lessons. Begin now by teaching him to:

HELP HIMSELF. You teach your tot to bathe and brush his teeth, right? That’s teaching him to be responsible in self-care. Now, demonstrate to him how to make his bed so he’s learning to be responsible for his belongings. Once you show him, then make it a joint effort. After that, say, “I want you to make your bed each morning.” The biggest challenge for most of us is to resist the urge to remake it if it’s not right. Instead, compliment his effort and you’ll see progress.

A principle in parenting is, value progress not perfection.

Both my girls were making their bed at age three. So what if they didn’t do it perfectly? It taught them accountability, increased their self-sufficiency, and helped them feel in control of their space. It also eased my workload.

Other ways of teaching your child self-help skills include: preparing breakfast cereal, warming a toaster pastry, getting his own drink, and putting away dishes. As your child first and most influential teacher, always do these activities with him before expecting him to do them solo.

Your kitchen may be a mess, but your child will improve with regular practice and your recognition. The payoff comes on those rare mornings when you sleep late. You won’t be disturbed with, “I’m hungry. When ya gonna get up ’n fix breakfast?”

Responsible people care for their own clothes. The picking up of clothes can be first taught by making it a game. “Race the Clock” is one way to see if every item can be picked up within a certain time limit. Or try picking up clothes together as you and your tot sing a song.

Show your child where his dirty clothes belong. Hopefully, not under the bed or stuffed back in the drawer as is my younger daughter’s custom. Often parents sabotage their own efforts to teach responsibility. They go in their youngster’s room, can’t stand the sight, cave in, and pick up the mess. All the while, they nag and complain as their child looks on. This quickly teaches the kid he’ll be rescued by “cave-in” parents. When your child forgets an obligation, and he surely will, resist rescuing.

After years of reminding my first daughter about her dirty clothes, I got smart and put a laundry basket in her room. It was a visual reminder of what to do with her clothes. That stopped my nagging and gave her opportunity to learn self-care. Later, around 11 years, I taught her how to sort and wash a load of her dirty clothes. Today, as a teen, she’s completely responsible for her laundry. When my behavior changed, my daughter’s behavior changed – for the better.

As your child becomes more skilled, increase the responsibilities. Remind him to bring home notes from the teacher. Or return yours! Encourage him to get up and dressed on time then compliment him when he does. Teach your child to pack a school lunch. Even preschoolers can select wholesome food, wrap it properly, and pack their lunch with our supervision.

Bare in mind, children can’t learn to be responsible unless parents give them responsibilities. And kids who are responsible in the home have a better advantage in the classroom.

Teaching your tot responsibility today gives him a growing sense self-reliance and confidence. This will encourage him to mature and meet life’s challenges as a responsible, productive adult.