By Tracy Chait

What children may not understand until later is that regular giving is perhaps as beneficial to them as it is to their larger community. The National Center for Family Philanthropy (www.ncfp.org) recently reported that children who establish a habit of giving at an early age have higher self-esteem and become skilled in areas of teamwork, project analysis, financial planning, and listening. With a little parental guidance, children can begin to develop such skills as soon as their first volunteer experience. During high school, a time at which a reported fifty-five percent of students volunteer, they begin to reap the personal rewards of their efforts. The Corporation for National and Community Service reports that students who volunteer are more likely to do well academically.

Before this point, however, make sure your children are prepared for what can be life-changing experiences. Prior to engaging in an activity, talk to your children about what to expect and why it is important to volunteer. Consider giving your children journals or scrapbooks to document their philanthropic activities. You might inspire a journal entry by asking your child to list three examples when he or she has been the recipient of an act of kindness. Turn to a new page and list examples of sharing time, a talent, or a treasure. When your kids have finished writing, ask them how they felt about their answers. If they don’t feel comfortable discussing their feelings, know that their journals may continue to be a place where they can express their thoughts on giving, and receiving. They might use their journals to record good deeds, or as scrapbooks to save pictures or articles that may encourage future participation. If a child hones in on a particular cause, for example, she might want a place where she can document her involvement and write down what she learns about a specific organization.

By making discussions about community and charity a regular occurrence, children will begin to see giving as a habit instead of a once in a while activity. Jocelyn Cortese, mother of three, uses a Giving Box to reinforce a pattern of charity. Residing on the kitchen table, the Giving Box is home to any spare change the family finds, especially the derivatives from recent loads of laundry. When it is full “to the brim,” Cortese and her children sit down and talk about the things they are thankful for that day and then decide whom to give the money. Her children have given to animal shelters or simply to individuals they have gotten to know who are homeless. “It’s important not to make it too complicated,” she warns. As children grow older, however, you might ask them to research and evaluate the organization to which they wish to donate and make a short presentation at a family meeting. Fred Rogers, of PBS neighborhood fame, collected several giving stories as well as a small tin Giving Box in a set that also offers sound advice to parents. (About $11 at Amazon.com.)

Other families have made use of a similar concept, the “Caring Container.” To develop the Caring Container, each family member writes several acts of kindness on slips of paper and adds them to the container. The acts should be easy activities that reinforce sharing and caring. Each week (or every day if you have an ambitious brood), each family member will choose a slip from the container and complete that task. Possible examples for a family of young children are: pick up any trash you see on the floor; compliment someone around you; play with someone new during recess; write a thank you note to a teacher, a school custodian, or cafeteria foodservice worker. As with all philanthropic activities, use this one as an excuse to talk. Check in with your kids about their tasks. Are some acts harder to complete than others? Does it feel good to perform an act of kindness? These discussions should generate compassion for others; if not, it doesn’t hurt to go back to the basics – an empty stomach.

Starting as early as age five or six, children can understand what it feels like to be hungry. Ask them how it feels when their tummies growl, or when a meal comes later than expected. Jilliene Schenkel keeps a constant supply of McDonald’s food vouchers on hand to teach her children the importance of giving to people in need. A few years ago, during a family trip to Canada, her children noticed the prevalence of homelessness in one area and immediately asked their mom if they had enough vouchers. “That’s what I’m looking for as a parent, that what we’ve been doing for the last twelve or thirteen years is becoming a habit.” These vouchers are available at almost any McDonald’s (or online). Gift certificates come in books of five vouchers, each worth $1. (Bonus: join McDonald’s “UPromise” program, and receive credit towards your child’s college education when purchasing McDonald’s gift certificates. See http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/good/community/upromise.html.)

When your family is ready to take steps beyond providing one meal at a time, consider these age-appropriate suggestions:

Activities for preschool children: make art as a gift; learn about giving

Draw, color, paint or make collages with your children. Deliver the art to a friendly neighbor, nursing home, children’s hospital, police station, or special community center. Let your children give the gifts. At these young ages, giving away artwork is a big step in understanding the giving process. These sharing opportunities also teach the meaning of the words “thank you” and “you’re welcome.”

Try reading Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree together and having a talk about what it means to give.

Activities for Children 5 and up: branching out into the community

Visit the local animal shelter or humane society. Have appropriate answers prepared for your children’s questions regarding the future welfare of the animals. Then, try the following: • Make homemade dog biscuits and catnip toys to bring to the animals.
• Take your old newspapers to the shelter to use as cage liners.
• Discuss how the animals do not have a home because someone was not a responsible owner.
• Discuss how people will come to adopt the animals and give them a home. Consider talking about homelessness among people, too.
Invite your children’s friends over to make homemade soup for lunch.
• Ask each child to bring one ingredient.
• Have the children work cooperatively to prepare the vegetables.
• Talk about cooperation and community; point out that each child’s contribution has resulted in more for everyone (the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts).
• Make enough soup so that some can be shared with a shut-in or elderly neighbor and discuss the idea of sharing resources with those who have less.

Activities for Ages 9 and up: finding places to volunteer

Serve as a nursing-home aide.
• Deliver meals, cut food for residents, and assist with eating.
• Contact a local nursing home to see if volunteers are needed to read to residents, play music, or just to visit.
Volunteer as a family at a local food bank or homeless shelter. Work to find an activity the whole family can learn from and enjoy.

• You can locate your local food back at www.secondharvest.org, or check with area churches.
• Check out Barbara Lewis’s The Kid’s Guide to Service Projects: Over 500 Service Ideas for Young People Who Want to Make a Difference (1995, Free Spirit Publishing) for project ideas and thorough preparation.

 

Activities for Teens: at this point, kids should be targeting organizations that interest them and will be capable of doing their own research

• Kids for WishKids (www.wish.org ) Kids discover philanthropy by selecting their own fundraising project and managing it from start to finish. The Make-A-Wish Foundation has funded wishes for children living with life-threatening illnesses because kids organized bowl-a-thons, carwashes, or concerts.
• Youth in Action, Red Cross Volunteers (ages 14-18, www.redcross.org ). Teens can become trained in Disaster Services and to be peer educators in Health and Safety issues or to help with services in the local community.
• Check out Marian Salzman’s 150 Ways Teens Can Make a Difference (1991, Peterson’s Guides) for additional ideas.

 

Still stumped? You or your kids can check out these websites for further inspiration:

www.learningtogive.org – A comprehensive guide for parents (and teachers) on how to teach philanthropy at every stage of childhood.

www.dosomething.org – “Do Something inspires, supports, and celebrates young people changing their world.”

www.giraffe.org – “Inspiring people to stick their necks out for the common good.” Includes a “For Kids Only (If you’re over 12, go away)” page.

www.globalkids.org – “Preparing urban youth to become global citizens and community leaders.”

www.fourhcouncil.edu – Good old Four H: “building a world in which in which youth and adults learn, grow, and work together as catalysts for positive change.”

www.nn4youth.org – The National Network for Youth – “championing the needs of runaway, homeless, and other disconnected youth through advocacy, innovation, and services – one community at a time.”

www.treemusketeers.org – The Nation’s first youth environmental organization, where kids are the boss!
 

For more information:
Darlene Siska. Growing to Give: Instilling Philanthropic Values in Teens and Preteens. National Center for Family Philanthropy, 2004.

Corporation for National and Community Service. Building Active Citizens: The Role of Social Institutions in Teen Volunteering. Brief 1 in the Youth Helping America series. Washington, DC. November 2005.

Council on Michigan Foundations. Learning to Give: A Family Foundation Guidebook for Raising Kids Who Give, Share, and Care. 2001.

Susan Crites Price. The Giving Family: Raising our Children to Help Others. Council on Foundations, 2001.