The enduring physical and emotional impact of the recent terrorist attacks on America and the ensuing war is reflected in the words of two children reported in a Tucson daily newspaper. "It hurts my heart" and "There is a big hole in my heart," the children said. Sadly, these children may not be alone.

In these emotional times, your children may also experience a "hurting heart" from acute stress triggered by a profound emotional episode. Fortunately, there are warning signals that can alert parents to the mounting distress your children may be experiencing.

It is important to note that traumatic events can have enduring physical and emotional impacts on children as well as adults. This can happen during periods of distress, when our bodies release hormones that signal the heart to pump more intensely. Moreover, breathing rates increase, muscles tense and, as a result, the body redirects oxygen away from the brain causing mental disorientation to set in.

While experiencing these symptoms, our survival organs--including the heart, lungs, and immune system--are particularly vulnerable. This is especially true for children.

Events of the magnitude of the recent terrorist attacks can harm young hearts and impair children's respiratory systems. And when the result is a hurting heart, children are experiencing physical and/or psychological strain beyond their normal ability to cope.

When negative emotional reactions take hold in children, they can manifest as low energy, depression, aches and pains or irritability. With this in mind, parents need to watch for these warning signs:

• Panting, shortness of breath or shallow breathing from the chest

• Difficulty remembering or focusing

• Excessive day dreaming or tuning out

• Sadness or depression

• Complaints of aches or discomforts

• Complaints of heart beating too fast

• With active children, increased irritability, shortness of temper, aggressiveness, complaining, scowls, or unusually deep contemplation.

• With quiet children, deeper or longer withdrawal, unusual quietness, and longer time in front of television, computers, or games, no desire to speak about it, irritability, overt sharp reactions.

If your child experiences any of these symptoms, there are several things you can do to help. You can heal a hurting heart! Research has shown that emotional sustenance is critical to heal the immune system. The Institute of HeartMath in Boulder Creek, CA. demonstrated that when children are shown love, encouragement and emotional support, a resulting positive hormonal effect takes place in the body and lasts for up eight hours.

Furthermore, you can teach your children to change how they deal with distress. The key is to help children dissolve any physical or emotional symptoms that develop, no matter how severe. Here are some suggestions.

1. Give emotional support and nurturing. Visit a playground; take a walk in nature and laugh. Or see a movie or put on a family play just for the sake of laughing. Cuddle into story time with the Harry Potter adventures and let children enter a fantasy world for an hour. The fantasy is helpful, but the cuddling is most important.

2. Loving, gentle touch offers healing. Transfer assurance through a pat on the shoulder. Send love by touching your child's heart. Or convey safety and nurturance through holding or massaging your child's hand.

3. Let the heart talk. Anger, heaviness, sadness, anguish, grief, or cynicism - most anything can be talked through. A technique for younger children is to place their hands directly on their hearts, close their eyes and imagine a smiley face in their chest, and let the smiley face talk. Older children may need to express what is inside their heart-- to get things "off their chest."

4. Let stuffed animals or puppets express what children can't. Don't push children who withdraw or become quiet under acute stress. Instead, use puppets or a favorite stuffed animal to speak for the child. Playful surrogates encourage expression without pressure.

5. Draw the heart and color the feelings. What color is your heart? How does joy look? What is the color of your sadness? When children don't wish to speak about things, pull out crayons and paper. Then, draw a heart and speak about aloud. "My heart broke into three pieces today. I'm going to color this one piece a bright blue, like the sky. The hurting piece here in my chest is like a dark blue . . ."

Then, encourage children and adolescents to draw their own hearts, put them back together or heal their hearts through color. This simple act helps get internal feelings outside, thus easing stress.

6. Use music to soothe the heart. Soothing music, like lullabies or Hawaiian music, positively affects the immune system and lowers heart rate. What music is most soothing to your children? Try the Cosmic Waltz or the Lullabies for Little Visionaries from www.inspiredparenting.net. The Mozart Effect helps children mentally focus. Their web site, www.mozarteffect.com, also offers a wider selection of music for helping children.

7. Help children take compassionate action. For some children, the need to act is strong. The desire to help and be of service is a way to express their heart in a positive way. Start at home. How can your child help you with a long-standing project? Do you need to clean out a closet or put pictures in a scrapbook? What can you and your child do in your community?

In the end, anyone who deals with or cares for children needs to be alert for the "hurting heart." It can show up in school or on the soccer field just as easily as in the home. War is under way. News coverage is continuous. The fear of another terrorist attack is real. So it is in the family and extended community that we can find the ways to keep hearts open to beauty, hope, and laughter to get us through the next year.

Copyright © 2001 Caron B. Goode. All rights reserved worldwide.