What separates the high-achievers from those who "also ran" is their ability to "fail forward." High achievers use their failures as stepping stones toward ultimate success. They keep their focus on the outcome they desire and are not distracted by failure. Rather, they pay attention to their mistakes only long enough to learn from them. Then they quickly experiment with something else they think will propel them forward toward their success. That is failing forward.

Anyone can learn to fail forward. Here are a few suggestions.

• Let go of the fear of failing. Change the self-talk you have going in your mind about the danger of failing or making mistakes. Interpret your mistakes as teachers. View failures as opportunities to grow and learn something new. Practice your internal dialogue as self-enhancing and encouraging.

• Realize that there is a "learning curve" to everything new. Nobody masters a new activity the first time they attempt it. Mistakes and failures are milestones marking your progress toward success. You have made, are making, and will always make mistakes. Make peace with this fact of life, and you're well on your way to making lemonade from those proverbial lemons.
  
   

• View your failure as something that happened in the past. The instant you have an auto accident, it is over. It is past. You can't change it. Any mistake is immediately locked into your history. You can do nothing to make it not happen. It's done. Its over. No one can change it.
  
   

• Accept total responsibility for your mistakes. It is always easier to blame someone or something else for your failures. When you blame, you give away your power to change your behavior. That is not healthy. It's also inaccurate. Ask yourself, "What did I do to contribute (or cause) this failure to occur?" The answer to that question is the best way to learn from your teachers. The bigger the mistake, the more important lessons it contains.
  
   

• Share your failure with others. Seek out honest and trustworthy supporters who will not sugarcoat their feedback or divert you with too much sympathy. Ask for time specifically to discuss your mistakes and how you can learn from them. Find a friend, coach, colleague or relative. Process with them the elements contributing to your mistakes. Ask them for informational feedback. Tell them how you will change your behavior and ask them what they think.
  
   

• Differentiate between the small stuff and situations that are warning signals. Don't sweat the small stuff. Someone once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! So, pay attention to warning signals. But keep in mind that it's not what happens TO you that will make the difference. It is what happens IN you. Your response to mistakes and failures is far more significant than the failures themselves.

Fail backward, and your mistakes and failures grind down your confidence, your self-esteem, your joy in being alive. Fail forward, and your failures support you, like stepping stones, to persist toward your desired results. If you are growing, you will always experience failures. They are the necessary (and often critical) steps to learning. Befriend your failures and you will most likely always fail forward.

Copyright © 2002 Lloyd J. Thomas. All rights reserved worldwide.