Sarah's Story
Sarah's summer visits to her mother in the New Hampshire White Mountains were normally fun and relaxing times. The summer she was 14, however, her mother observed that Sarah was sullen and angry. When they talked, Sarah seemed oblivious to her pervasive, alienating behaviors. Like a swelling stream, something deep in Sarah's unconscious was overrunning the boundaries.

Sarah's anger drove her outside on a hot, humid night when the family was not home. She screamed at the universe, "Why am I here anyway? Who cares?" After a bout of weeping, she returned inside and went to sleep. Sometime in the late night hours, she dreamed her "dolphin dream."

I was a small girl, five or six years old, and I was standing on a small pier in a grassy, remote setting. I looked down at the water that didn’t seem normal. Instead, it was an aqua color, translucent and placid. I was captivated with the water, and I could see movement underneath the surface. I recognized dolphins playing. Then they jumped around in the water, and called to me, “Come play with us. Come be with us.

The little dream girl's fears came up: I'm not supposed to be here. Mom would get mad. I can’t swim without an adult nearby. As she recited her litany of fears, she ended up in the water. Sarah hooked her arm around the dorsal fin of a dolphin that guided her away from the surface water. She was even more afraid now because they were going deep.

I couldn’t breathe, and I felt lost. Yet, there was a calm. A deep inner voice said, "Go ahead and breathe." So I did. At that point, I felt everything was all right and I could trust the dolphin.

We swam down where the water became darker and then we came back up. We resurfaced in a small pool where the water was thick and gooey like Jell-O. Rocks surrounded the pool like a ravine, and a gentle waterfall fed the pool. It seemed like a mystical place to me where time disappeared and my play with the dolphins was endless. It was a familiar feeling of coming home and feeling safe and peaceful.

The last line of Sarah’s narrative best sums up the dream inside each of us.

When we touch the dream, we feel safe.
We feel like we are home.

Sarah's insight didn't end there. The dream was Sarah's invitation to set her life direction.

 

Right after that dream episode, I had a flood of inspiration. I started drawing, sketching, and writing poems--more so than I ever had. I filled sketchpads with dolphins and poetry about what I call my journeying. The mystery of the event was comfortable, and each journey I took inside of myself just reinforced the feeling of glee so that I had to write and draw. Several more dreams followed.

In another dream, I was walking along a local beach when I noticed my mother’s friend in the water. It appeared she was drowning, but I wasn’t quite sure. I swam out to her to see if she was OK. I never quite reached her before I saw her at the bottom of the lake waving to me. I went down to her, and eight dolphins started playing around us. We swam with them for a while.

Then everything disappeared except one dolphin and me. I asked what my message was. The dolphin replied, "Be with the dolphins. Be love. Your journey begins."

There were many such journeys. Sarah’s dream dolphins became powerful friends and teachers for her. If she had been in an aboriginal culture, they might have called the dolphin a power animal that came as a teacher. Another parent might have called it an over-active imagination. Sarah’s mother recognized that her daughter had found an inner anchor that generated creativity, artistic expression, and a peaceful nature. This gift motivated Sarah to read and learn about dolphins.

This is one way we can recognize the dream in our children. It causes them to search. It inspires and motivates them. It becomes a consistent and comforting, yet challenging, given in their lives.

We can’t say no to the blueprint of our gifts without paying the price of dissatisfaction and alienation. Instead, we can recognize dreams as the inspiration that influences our life direction. I feel that the dream opened a spiritual connection between me and the dolphin that became a guide to me. I turned to the dolphin when I was at a loss to find that same feeling of being secure, like when I could breathe under the water in the first dream.

Through the years, the dolphin connection manifested in my life as a great love for the species. In an altruistic sense, I wanted to help them as well as help other people understand the complexity of their nature. I was inspired to join a swim team the next year. I wanted to glide through the water like them. Then I became involved in the social activism against tuna canneries and fisheries that fished the dolphins as well. When the tuna canneries admitted their fishing practices, I felt that I was part of a movement that could make a difference. It empowered me in some way.

Dreams empower children in a positive way.

"[Children] are trying to live two lives at once, the one they were born with, and the one of the place and the people they were born into."

When a child's gift beckons, it may be difficult for those around the child to understand.

I lost faith in my dream just once when I went to college. Family members told me that my dreams were great, but I couldn't survive and pay my bills chasing dolphins. I started reevaluating all of my options, and I came down to the one fact that was real to me. I had a gift, and I wasn't willing to throw it away. I cried most of my first year in college because I wanted my dream. Just about the time I wanted to give up the whole thing, another door opened again. I met a cognitive psychologist who traveled the world studying whales and dolphins. I changed all of my classes to accommodate my new major, received my Bachelor's of Science and will enter a Master’s program of dolphin research. I’m on my way!

None of us can live without this gift, an aspiration that guides us in the darkest hour. To deny our gifts, to live without a dream is a terrifying prospect. To have nothing which inspires us leaves us like empty clay containers. The essence of who we are evaporates. We would be barren.

Our Dream for the Future
In Nurture Your child’s Gift, we focus on esteem, empowerment, and expression, crucial elements for success in any era. They are even more critical in today’s fast-moving, high-tech, crowded, and stressful environments. Perhaps more than at any other time, this era of societal and global interdependence is taxing our energies, depleting our personal resources, and defraying our spiritual development. Too many children and youth feel alienated and alone, without vision or hope. Their dream waits. It may feel dead to them, yet it hovers just out of reach, waiting discovery.

Our children can discover their gifts! Join me in starting a parenting revolution. Change the way we think about and treat our children, and in the way we view our roles as parents and caretakers. Join me in self-education about new applied research and techniques that have been used in education, psychology, medicine, and sports. These tools can help children change for the better under caring influence of the most influential people in their lives—their parents. Try something new from this book. Give it time and be consistent. Then try another step.

If you care, buy this book for someone else who cares. Pass the word that parenting is about shaping the environment and providing the keys that can facilitate a child’s connection to his or her gift.

Together, we’ll start a radical new philosophy that knows love is the key to opening hearts; and in these hearts are the dreams that guide each life. We know that change can only happen through combining our individual efforts. One of us has to start! Join me?