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Dear Caron,
I am an RN and just started a new job in a mental health facility. The focus is on children and adolescence. We do a daily "group" with them. We may pick the topic the only criteria being "education" of some sort. I wanted to offer some valuable coping skills kids could use. So, I went to the computer and spent over an hour clicking on lists of Internet items looking for help. I was getting very tired and needed to go to bed. When bingo" I found your article on kids, trauma, and coping skills! I just wanted to say a great big thank-you for your helpful article!
Sincerely ,
Charlotte Rogers

 

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By Caron Goode

Children’s Visions for Their Lives
Part 1 of 3

At age seven, Oliver had a dream. Not an ordinary dream, he’d had plenty of those. This dream was about Oliver’s life purpose and gift although he didn’t know it at the time. Here are his words:

The first dream that I will remember for the rest of my life was one where I was in a mansion. It was sort of a game with four other people. We had to get to the attic of the mansion through all of these twists and turns and booby traps and survive. The point of the game was survival. If you didn’t die, you won.

It was the first time I was conscious of a dream being in black and white. I went through all the booby traps. Other people got killed, speared, and lost. I finally made it to the top. When I was approaching the attic door, a trap door opened under me and I started falling.

But I didn’t see it through my eyes; I saw it through the eyes of a camera. I watched my body fall and fall. I saw these spikes underneath me. Then my body just froze in mid-air and the credits rolled. I woke up laughing! There were credits like at the end of the movie, so I knew I was in a movie.

This dream was the beginning of Oliver’s quest to be an actor. Not an ordinary dream at all. Would Oliver’s dream come true?

Any parent knows that each child is unique from birth, displaying a particular temperament, unique abilities, and interests. We are all born with these "givens", and it is by honoring this uniqueness and respecting the emergent dreams of children that we become truly nurturing parents and adults.

“The dream” is an inner vision of what our lives are about. It is an imprint in our hearts that steers the course of our lives, and like Oliver’s, points us toward our purpose.

Dreams and vision spark our passion for being alive. They are like anchors we hold onto when life seems dark or becomes a struggle. A vision unfolds gradually, refining its expression throughout childhood and the adolescent years. But how do we recognize that one vision, among all our dreams, which defines our purpose in life?

We can recognize the dream because it will reveal itself, time and again, through inner prompting, innate ability, and driving interests.

Often this dream is lost as children grow. Society in general, and our education system in particular, values conformity rather than following one’s inner direction. But don’t we want our children to reach their full potential? To find satisfaction and joy in life? Then let us that support rather than deny their dream.

Nurture Your Child’s Gift shows us how to observe the unfolding dream within children and how to help foster its emergence. We want to watch for it, recognize it as it unfolds, and nurture it.

Dreams Have Impact
A minister named Martin Luther King, Jr. displayed great courage when he said, “I have a dream.” It takes courage to speak of our dreams. As King stood before a sea of faces that day, he pledged commitment to his heart-felt desire.

What made King’s statement so powerful is that he had the courage to acknowledge and follow his vision. Like King, putting changes into motion at that historic moment, parents also have the opportunity to change history.

Helping our children know and unfold their life dream has an impact on our society and on our world that we can barely imagine.

Individuals with the courage to live their dreams make great contributions to our culture in the areas of the arts, politics, media, science, and spirituality. Visions, dreaming, and creativity were part of their personalities. These qualities were fostered primarily by their personal inner drive, not necessarily by school or society. We are looking for this inner drive in our children, especially those who know their vision at an earlier age.

To go against today’s social trends is a daunting proposal. The challenge requires our daring and bold response. It calls for a fostering approach to parenting, mentoring, and befriending our children. Connecting to our inner peace puts us in touch with the dream; this in turn fuels our passion for living, accomplishing, and developing the person we want to be. Likewise, our passion for the dream brings a sense of familiarity and security -- the knowledge that we are doing what we need to do, and in most cases, what we yearn to do.

1. Watch for and encourage their unique gifts and natural genius.
2. Foster inner peace and harmony.
3. Provide an environment in which the dream can unfold.

About The Author ...

Caron Goode's (EdD) insights are drawn from her fifteen years in private psychotherapy practice and thirty years of experience in the fields of education, personal empowerment, and health and wellness. She is the author of eight books (www.inspiredparenting.net ) and the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents, (www.acpi.biz) a training program for parents & professionals who wish to mentor other parents. A mom and step-mom, she and her husband live in Whitney, Texas. Reach her at caronbgoode@inspiredparenting.net.

   
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