Want to be a good parent? Most do. Nobody's ever called my office asking how to fail at the job. Rather, I get calls appealing for advice, answers, or assurance. Being a competent parent is one of the goals of most I know. But, how do we get proficient at a job we've never done? A Swahili proverb advises, "He who sharpens the ax before beginning to cut wood does not waste time."

I challenge you to embrace childrearing as an important career. Whether you're just launching into this unknown experience or have been doing it for many years, its important to hone your skills. The only way we get better is through practice.

Here are skills vital to the job. Not only will these help you enjoy a better relationship with your child, but also you'll rest in the knowledge that you did your personal best to raise a contributor to society. To inspire you to see the value of each, they're written from a child's perspective:

• I feel secure when adults run the household.
  Be the parent!

• I feel loved when you care enough to set boundaries.
  Make and keep rules.

• I get confused when you are unpredictable.
  Stay dependable.

• I'm being me.
  Accept my immaturity.

• I'm learning about myself.
  Teach me to understand my many feelings.

• I depend on you to teach me correct ways to act.
  Catch me "being good" and tell me.

• I can get embarrassed.
  Correct me in private.

• I learn when I experience the results of my behavior.
  Discipline with consequences.

• I'm full of questions.
  Tell me answers or I'll get them elsewhere.

• I need to feel included in the family.
  Assign household chores.

• I learn to trust from you.
  Keep your promises.

• I need to accept my mistakes.
  Admit you aren't perfect.

• I copy your ways of caring for myself.
  Live a healthy lifestyle.

• I learn forgiveness and to own my behavior from you.
  Apologize sometimes.

• I'll become like you even when you think I wasn't looking.
  Be a good model.

Copyright © 2003 Brenda Nixon. All rights reserved worldwide.